I got an email from a fuckbuddy this morning. He thanked me for busting his asspussy. I told him it was the tequila. It makes me a sexy beast if I throw back too many shots. He agreed. He said next time he’d bring Everclear. I retorted, “Bro, you will need to sign a waiver. That shit makes me retarded. Make sure I bone you wearing a condom.” He shrugged it off, telling me to get my ass over to Absolutely Male. They were giving away FREE passwords. I needed some new porn. I dropped the cat, fired up the PC, and signed up. Holy fuck, I was like a fox in a hen house…

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